i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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