I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
