If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
