All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
