He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
