It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
