You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize