Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
