This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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