it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
