I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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