White coat. Heels.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
