She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
