i think i scared a bird with my dick
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
