I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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