we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The air taste purple.
Randomize
