I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
