Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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