I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
