i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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