the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
