I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I deserve this hangover.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
