those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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