Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
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He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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