You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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