pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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