i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
