Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize