Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
