Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
