her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
