I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
