I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
did i walk over a car last night?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Randomize
