Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
