She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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