i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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