Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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