just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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