Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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