gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
