you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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