nut hugger
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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