we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
