I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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