mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
