i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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