Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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