My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
