and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize