Welp...herpes.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
