Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
