i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
you made out with another girl for some wings
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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