If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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