so explain again why im purple
no
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
