Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you traded sex for a burrito?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
