Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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