woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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