you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
