I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
