I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
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words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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