Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The beer is more important than you right now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
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Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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