Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
